walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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