guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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