Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just want to make out with him forever
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
