Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
