I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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