the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
