Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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