no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
