Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
