Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
