I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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