he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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