kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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