Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
