as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
