would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
