Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
operation harelip BJ is a go
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
