my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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