To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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