whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
