do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
