he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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