everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
