Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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