yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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