There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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