If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize