There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
