1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
