you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I touched a dick in church today
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
