I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
