Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize