I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
