So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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