Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
