I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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