My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
