actually, I'm a sock model
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize