Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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