We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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