i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
