Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize