if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
