if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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