I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
