? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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