somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
