After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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