if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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