and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He did a backflip because drugs
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
