These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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