cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
