We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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