I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
