I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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