its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize