I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can I color on your dick again?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
