STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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